I’ve just realised, life gets pretty boring after all the choir hoo-hah in the past month. Anyway, I’ve been re-reading Merupuri and I just completed it today. That manga’s probably the best ever. Its sad that they didn’t make an anime out of it but its a little sick. But the romance was nice.
These days, I’ve been mooching around most of the time, reading Warren Buffet’s The Snowball (which is seriously awesome!), watching Shugo Chara, studying, procrastinating and putting off doing my holiday homework and working out once in a while.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my behaviour/character/personality these few days and I’ve realised, I’ve most definitely grown out of my rebellious stage when I was P5/P6. But I’m still not very sure of who I want to be. Sure, I want to go to a prestigious university overseas, be a top student all throughout secondary school and JC, grow up and meet someone as wonderful as Aram/Ikuto/Natsume/etc., get married, have a successful career, be someone great, but all these just seem so impossible. I’m not someone outstanding, I put on an outer character all the time, I don’t show who I am inside to anyone, and sometimes, I barely even know what I’m really like. I want to be outgoing, braver, more spontaneous, a natural leader. But everytime I try to be fun and wacky in school, its nothing but an act. It’s getting pretty frustrating and confusing. I don’t wish to act all the time, but just perhaps, I’m fun and spontaneous deep inside? Who knows? There are so many things I want to be, and maybe I’m capable of it all, but its just plain impossible at this juncture. And I’ll be 14 next year and I’m not a kid anymore. It’s scary how fast time flies.
I’d better go now. I think I’ve been watching too much Shugo Chara to be able to reflect upon myself so much.
(back to the top.)
Reminiscence
Wednesday, December 2, 2009